I've never been one of those girls. I don't give ultimatums or make demands, and I certainly don't believe in trying to change people. I believe that people can change; I say that because if I can't change my perspective to accept someone (say, my boyfriend), then I don't need them in my life, and that's the way I've always been. What I find so difficult these days is accepting my boyfriend's lack of affection, seemingly, at least. I know he loves and cares a great deal about me, but it wouldn't kill him to say something sweet to me ever so often. Apparently he doesn't fare so well with talking about his emotions. Everything worked out so smoothly in the beginning when I "lived" with him because we were too busy sleeping together and hiding our relationship, but now that we live 600 miles apart, I don't exactly do phone-sex.
I've always imagined myself with a hopeless romantic. I want someone who will spontaneously buy me flowers on a rainy day, or call to tell me he's thinking of me during his last five minutes of lunch. Is it too much to ask for? And what if I want just a little more affection than "uhhh" from him when I call and he's busy hanging out with his friends, would that still be too much? My boyfriend seems to be the least romantic person. EVER. I do admit that I find his crudeness to be cute from time to time, but I feel like I need a small gush of emotion to keep me going during the other times. How can it be that your "ideal" and "actual" are so different because that is not the kind of person he is. I keep hoping for a glimmer of romance, of affection, and I often find myself disappointed and upset. I remind myself that these are unlikely expectations; these are unlikely characteristics of the man I fell in love with. Do I try to change him, or demand from him? No, it won't do us any real good. How can you win if you want the best from both worlds? You can't, at least I can't. So is he, or could he really be the one, and how much love would I, would you, give to faith?
And say that I accept his inability or unwillingness to flatter me now that we have a long distance relationship, why does accepting him make me feel so dull?
Chatboard (0)